I Have Done a Terrible Thing
Ladies and gentlemen, I do apologize, from the bottom of my cold, black heart, for I have forgotten a sacred, sacred day. The day of June 12th, 1977.
We must all drop to our knees to celebrate this monumental day which affects all Ranger fans, to this day, to our very cores.
For on this day(ok, this is a little late, but use your imaginations), oh loyal and devoted Blueshirt fans, 32 years ago, the Ruler of the Underworld, and Lord of Hell, Lucifer himself spread his legs wide, and let forth a great, thunderous queef. A queef that shook the Underworld, and made all of Beelzebub’s subjects tremble with fright.
And that, my good fellows, is how Wade Redden came to be.
Happy Birthday Wade!!!!!!!
From all of us at 5-Hole!!
About the author: Rory is a recent college graduate from central New Jersey majoring in History and PR. A Ranger fan all her life, the bane of her existence is the New Jersey Devils, and she harbors a severe hatred for Martin Brodeur. Her favorite current Rangers are Henrik Lundqvist, Sean Avery, and Steve Valiquette, and her favorite all-time Rangers are Mike Richter and Jeff Beukeboom. 
f’ing hilarious, 5-hole. “Born of the ass and trembling at the blueline, the Lord of Death swore to grant Demon Wade riches and evil support from that day forth…”
That’s just evil.
HIlarious, but evil.