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Versus: Sports Jobs with Junior Seau

It’s no secret that we here at 5-hole hate VERSUS with a passion.  From their feud with DirecTV to their incredibly terrible hockey coverage, they might just be one of the worst sports networks in existence.

So from the bull-riding/buck-hunting/occasional-hockey network that brought us Fanarchy and Sports Soup, and the network that asked us to “show us your V!” comes “Sports Jobs with Junior Seau.”

From the website:

Everybody knows that sports are tough, and the athletes that play them are tough. But what about all the jobs that go on behind the scenes in sports? Who are the people, what are the jobs and how hard is the work in the real life of sports?

In the new Versus series Sports Jobs we’re taking on the coolest, dirtiest and most fascinating jobs in sports. Our host, NFL legend Junior Seau, will get beat up, worn down, well-schooled and super-trained… all in an effort to find out just how tough you have to be to work in sports.

Wait a minute.  I think I’ve seen this show before.  Isn’t it called Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe?  And doesn’t it air on the Discovery Channel?

Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re not a big football fan and you might be asking, “Who is Junior Seau and why is he doing this?”  Here’s a quick bio of Junior for those who have no clue who he is:

Junior Seau is considered by many as one of the best linebackers in NFL history.  He played 13 years with the San Diego Chargers and 3 years with the Miami Dolphins. As a Charger, Seau was elected to 12 consecutive Pro Bowl appearances. After one day of retirement in 2006, Junior answered a call by the New England Patriots and returned to the NFL as number 55 on the Patriots team. 2008 marked Seau’s 19th consecutive season. He was the defensive co-captain for the Patriots in 2007 during their 18-0 run to perfection.

Perfection huh?  I think they might be forgetting something…

Versus has started an ad campaign here in New York all over the Subway system.  Horrible photoshopping abound!

Junior will work as a bat boy for the LA Dodgers

This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

The next ad is for the episode that Junior spends as a caddy for Natalie Gulbis.

Junior caddies for Natalie Gulbis in another episode

Junior caddies for Natalie Gulbis in another episode

First of all, couldn’t they use a different picture of Seau?  They literally removed the bats, moved his hand into the picture, and added in a strapless, magical floating bag and a putter.

Secondly, why is he holding Natalie’s putter if she’s currently putting?

I’d rather not get worked up over the  horrible photoshopping.  Jordan Snow of digitalet.net will do that for me:

That [bag] is floating on his back!  Maybe that’s why there is sand surrounding it… it has jets on the bottom that make it levitate, thus kicking up the sand.

Finally, why is he wearing his jersey?  Will he be wearing the jersey all the time?  I feel like this speaks volumes to Versus’ lack of pull in the sports world.  You see a Ford commercial with Derek Jeter and is he wearing his jersey?  Nope.  But people know, that is Derek Jeter.  How about those Sony commercials?  Peyton Manning is just sitting at a table with a few other people.  One of them happens to be Justin Timberlake.  The point is, people who see that commercial know, oh, that’s Peyton Manning and that’s Justin Timberlake, just by seeing their face.

Some other jobs Junior will be undertaking include:

  • UFC Corner-Man for Forrest Griffin.
  • Stadium Construction worker for the new Giants and Jets Stadium.
    • Wait a minute.  This isn’t the Discover Channel’s Build it Bigger!
  • NHL Equipment Manager for the Washington Capitals.
    • I hope he doesn’t ruin Ovie’s lucky socks.
  • Arena Conversion Crew Member at TD Bank Garden for the Boston Bruins and Boston Celtics.
    • As a Rangers fan I’ve seen this multiple times every season.  Every time the Rangers play a night game after the Knicks play a day game at MSG, they show a time lapse of the MSG crew transforming the arena from a basketball court to a hockey rink.  It’s pretty cool actually.
  • IRL Pit Crew for Scott Dixon
    • I’m assuming this is some sort of racing.  Probably Indy Car considering Versus has the broadcast rights for that.

For an update on the show, head over to Puck the Media.

About the author:  Eric is a lifelong Rangers fan and is currently studying Computer Engineering at Hofstra University. You can follow him on Twitter: @5holeEric

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