What the analysts will say about Crosby’s slewfoot, and what they really mean
Hey guys, so I didn’t watch the Rangers game tonight. Its finals week, which is pretty damn important. I’ve been kind of sick of reading about political instability in Belgium (don’t ask unless you want to hear a rant about how support for the EU has a direct correlation on regionalization in Europe), so I got wind of a dirty play by Crosby and needed to expose the truth. Here is a great video of the play in question (if it gets taken down let us know and we’ll find a new one EDIT: we changed it to a working link so far), as it clearly shows Crosby slewfooting Ryan Callahan with his skate. And with the power of screenshooting we have a close up!
The sad thing about all of this is Ryan Callahan was sent to the box for 2 minutes for interference. Explain that one to us? But for our readers sake we are going to sum up what the analysts will be saying tomorrow so they don’t have to sit through the drivel:
Puck Daddy: Headline “Crosby and Controversy yet again”
Text: Well it seems that Crosby used his skate to take out Ryan Callahan, but avoided penalty. He had an assist in the game and was a +1. There was no penalty on the play, and honestly there deserved to be one.
What he really meant: Leahy, I don’t want to hear it. It was dirty, I know I can’t write that, but still shut up. You can’t defend him this time. You honestly need to leave me the hell alone while I use this to distract me from the Devils sucktitude.
Blueshirt Banter: Headline “Crosby is a little bitch who deserves to go to hell:
Text: WE ARE REALLY ANGRY BOOGAARD SHOULD HAVE KNOCKED HIS TEETH OUT EVEN THOUGH HE WASN’T PLAYING IN THE GAME SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE FOUGHT HIM OMG I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW CALL IN TO OUR SHOW AND GOD WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE HOW MAD I AM RIGHT NOW F*(#$%*($N CROSBY.
What they really meant: WE ARE REALLY ANGRY BOOGAARD SHOULD HAVE KNOCKED HIS TEETH OUT EVEN THOUGH HE WASN’T PLAYING IN THE GAME SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE FOUGHT HIM OMG I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW CALL IN TO OUR SHOW AND GOD WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE HOW MAD I AM RIGHT NOW F*(#$%*($N CROSBY.
VS. Post game show: *warning I don’t know if this on versus but it involves the Pens so they probably are* Well it just looked like two guys battling for the puck and Callahan just happened to be in front impeding Crosby’s path. I mean its really hit or miss here could go either way.
What they really mean: The NHL depends on us no F****n up so we can’t really say anything bad. Everyone knows it was dirty.
The Pensblog: Headline: “Oh Crosby, you dog”
Text: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha who cares we won 3-1?
What they really meant: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha who cares we won 3-1?
MSG: (remember Brian Leetch actually said this to my surprise) “It’s a play that the NHL has tried to get rid of,” said Rangers Hall of Fame defenseman Brian Leetch, who now serves as a studio analyst on the team’s broadcasts on MSG Network. “It’s a dirty play.” taken from here
What they actually said: All I can say is I see Sam Rosen covering his mike shaking his fist in his best old man voice “WHY I OUGHT TO GET YOU PUNK!!!!!!!!!” (love you Sam!)
The NHL: Bettman: Well I don’t see anything wrong here. Just looks like two guys battling for the puck, and the superior player wasn’t knocked over. I don’t see the fuss, I’m going to go praise Atlanta for being a model franchise now.
What he really meant: Thank god the refs called that penalty on that scrub Callahan. No one is allowed to touch my precious….
So there you go, all the news and reactions and what the really meant in one convenient post! Remember we like all the websites featured, just needed to make sure Ranger fans knew how to read them especially with some BS meters going nuts tomorrow. Have a good night, and remember: Crosby Sucks!
About the author: Aaron is an international studies student from a small town in New Jersey that no one has heard of, although he's been relocated to Atlanta, Georgia. While he isn't studying or trying to prove Thrashers fans exists, Aaron is on a never ended quest to defend Wade Redden's name. His all time favorite Rangers is Brian Leetch, but other favorites include Henrik Lundqvist, Markus Naslund, and the rest of the Swedish National Team.