5-hole.com

Game Preview: Yes, We Still Do These

Rory — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 01:12:39 +0000

The Rangers’ 5-game losing streak was broken the other night.

I'm too lazy to Photoshop. Squint and imagine a blue jersey.

My liver rejoiced that now it had a chance at survival.

Chad ‘Dos Nueve’ Johnson got his first NHL win.

Gabby(not ‘Gabbo’, Eric- give it up) scored his 10th career hat trick, his first as a Ranger.

Henrik Lundqvist puked all over the visiting locker room of the Phoenix Coyotes(this is not moronic speculation- THIS IS FACT).

Aaron Voros won a fight.

We have been rid of net-blind Chris Higgins and professional healthy scratch Ales Kotalik. For Olli Jokinen and some dude named Prust whose first name I can’t be bothered to look up.

Many of these things are good. Some are yet to be determined. But, what we know for sure is that this is the last appropriate time to embed this video, so here it is:

KOTALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK

KOT-A-LIK

KOTALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK

Tonight, the Rangers play a game. Against who? The LA Kings. What time? Super late, and eating into my Chelsea Lately time. What channel? The one with the game.

Tonight could suck balls, or tonight could be awesome. I’m leaning towards awesome. Why? Because I said so. Deal with it. Also because I got a job today and it would be really awesome for the Rangers not to ruin my day considering how loyal I’ve been to them for my 23 years on planet Goner(aka Earth. Don’t say Al Gore didn’t warn you).

Let’s, um, go Rangers!

33-18-5: Yotes win again!

Eric — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:51:19 +0000

I had way too much work to be able to catch the game so you’ll have to settle for just the NHL highlights.

The next game is Tuesday night in Nashville. Game starts at 8PM EST/6PM MST.

Stars avoid sweep, beat Red Wings 3-1 in Game 4

32-18-5: Close Call

Eric — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 06:32:06 +0000

Note: I said I would root for whichever team won tonight for the rest of the season until they were eliminated from Stanley Cup contention. And that’s what I’m gonna do. But, don’t think for one second that I’m not still a Rangers fan. They’re now my #2 team. Until the Coyotes win the Cup or are eliminated from winning it this season. Hopefully they win so that all this isn’t for nothing.

Note: there is a video embedded within this post, click here to view it.

The Coyotes improved to 32-18-5 after holding on for dear life against the New York Rangers. The Rangers seemed to be very moved by the pregame ceremony inducting Teppo Numminen into the Jets/Coyotes Ring of Honor. This is because they seemed very distracted through the first period and allowed the Yotes to score three on them.

The Yotes allowed themselves to get complacent after jumping out to a three goal lead and allowed the Rangers to score two. They almost tied it up with a short handed goal with about a minute left in the game, but the puck that was swatted at by Gaborik hit the post and deflected out of danger.

The near capacity crowd at Jobing.com Arena (click for gallery)

Breakdown:

The Coyotes first goal came as a direct result of Shane Doan’s persistence in getting to the net mixed with a gaffe by rookie defenseman Michael Del Zotto. Rather than play the body, Del Zotto went for the puck and Doan was able to get it back after losing it momentarily. He then put it 5-hole and Johnson was not able to close the legs in time.
Just 41 seconds after the first goal, a Del Zotto error led directly to another goal. MDZ was unable to keep the puck in at the point and Taylor Pyatt made the outlet pass to Robert Lang who rushed the puck up the ice before making a beautiful pass to Mikkel Boedker who burried his first goal of the season with a nifty move in front of the net.
The third goal was just a bomb by Sami Lepisto from the blueline that Johnson was screened on. It was his first career NHL goal.
The first Rangers goal was a result of a blocked JovoCop pass that Marian Gaborik turned the other way and had a give and go with Erik Christensen.
The second was a nasty wrister by Sean Avery that resulted from Avery knocking the puck away from Jim Vandermeer at the blue line.
Vernon Fiddler had one of the best penalty kills I’ve seen in a while when he blocked about five Chris Drury shots in the span of 30 seconds.
Petr Prucha drew three penalties on the night, but I’d like to talk about the third. The third penalty he drew was a high sticking infraction against Michal Rozsival. At first, I was really pissed off at Rozsival because at that point I was still a Rangers fan and annoyed that he took a penalty so late in the third. Then I saw the replay and it showed that Pru embellished the contact sealing both the Rangers’ and my fate.

The Coyotes next game is tomorrow night in Dallas at 6PM EST/4PM MST.

We Suuuuuuck

Rory — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 03:42:51 +0000

So, given the current state of the Rangers, I sat down to write an angry, snarky rant with the goal of eviscerating those miserable sacks of wet crap who currently call themselves New York Rangers. But, so mired in suckitude is this team that this is all that came out:

We suck.

We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck. We suck.

The Rangers suck as much as this tattoo.

We suck.

Oh, and Eric’s a Coyotes fan now! HAHA!

We still suck.

We’re moving! Again!; Rangers vs Coyotes

Eric — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:16:51 +0000

About the state of the website. Panic about the Rangers all you want.

Don’t worry though, we’re staying in the same place. We’ve just joined one of those nifty blogging networks. So over the next week or two you may see some stuff that looks different. Don’t be alarmed! This is normal and we should eventually be up and running and better than ever.

Moving on. The Rangers are in Phoenix tonight to play the Coyotes who are 31-18-5 and are currently sitting in 4th place in the West. Isn’t it amazing how the team that was all but dead this past summer is playing so well this year? Personally, I think it’s all Don Maloney’s doing. He’s built a great team over the past 2 seasons and it’s paying off in just his third full season behind the wheel in the desert. No doubt Petr Prucha has a lot to do with this success.

Now I’ve been a Rangers fan for as long as I can remember. But I’ve really had enough of this. Back on December 17, 2009, the Hockey Bird promised his fandom to the winner of that night’s Rangers – Islanders game.

The coach is throwing f-bombs at post game press conferences. The players are throwing….well, not much at their opponents. The fans are throwing in the towel. This fan has had enough. So frustrating has it been to be a NY Rangers fan over the 40 plus years that I have decided enough is enough. I needed a reason to make tonight’s game a bit more interesting. To the winner go the spoils……my fandom for the rest of this season.

Let me be clear here. I will root as a passionate fan for whichever team wins tonight’s Ranger – Islander game from the conclusion of the game until that winning team is eliminated from a Stanley Cup. Of course I’ll be rooting for me beloved Blueshirts to win tonight. I have been a “cut me and I’ll bleed BLUE” Ranger fan for as long as I have known the game.

The Rangers ended up winning and, as promised, he continued to root for the Rangers. So tonight I’m doing the same thing. Yes, tonight. It wasn’t the Flyers game, the Habs game, or even the Penguins game that was finally the last straw. It was the game against the ‘Canes. I mean, who wants to root for those teams? Not me.

And yes, I know there’s less on the line for me, because honestly, rooting for the Coyotes is actually kind of appealing. If the Rangers lose, I don’t really lose. I get to start following a very exciting team with probably my favorite current NHLer after Henrik Lundqvist on it. The only drawback is that their games are on late at night and good luck finding an online feed for the Coyotes vs the Predators. You’re more likely to get mauled by a polar bear in Guam while simultaneously being struck by lightning.

That being said, Let’s go Rangers! I’d like to continue rooting for you guys, but it wouldn’t be a travesty in my eyes if I switched to the Coyotes for the rest of the season.

Video: John Tortorella vs Larry Brooks – Part 2

Eric — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 04:35:49 +0000

It’s no secret that John Tortorella and Larry Brooks aren’t the best of friends. They’ve already had one squabble and that was when Torts was still with the Lightning.

Here is part two from tonight after the 2-0 loss to the Flyers.

Some time into the press conference, Brooks asks Tortorella if the Rangers should have taken a third man in penalty. Tortorella refuses to answer and tells Brooks that he won’t be answering any of his questions. Apparently, Tortorella wouldn’t answer any of Brooks’ questions due to something that Brooks wrote about Wade Redden.

Earlier this week against the Canadiens, Wade Redden got a fighting major sticking up for his teammates. Brooks thought “it was funny.”

I wouldn’t call it funny, Larry. I’d say it was shocking, unexpected, fantastic, unforgettable. But funny? I dunno.

I will say that the best part is seeing Brian Leetch finally showing some emotion while trying not to laugh at what he just saw. Leetchie is getting more and more comfortable with each appearance on MSG and I hope to see him for a long time.

OMG REAL LIFE! A.k.a. HOT MESS: Bad Blogger

Rory — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 05:20:47 +0000

In case you were wondering, this isn't what I've been doing while I've been gone. I swear.

Soooo I’ve basically been a ghost around here for the better part of two months(just like Chris Drury!). Sorry folks- I wasn’t ignoring you, or our “beloved” Rangers- my life has gone a bit crazy in a few different ways.

For a long time I was living a totally worthless existence in which I was unable to find employment and my days were filled with watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and eating chicken nuggets, then, practically overnight, I had two jobs(well, an unpaid internship and a second, paying job)and worked seven days a week, some of those commuting into Manhattan(btw- suck it, NJ Transit. You’re the devil), then got fired from one job(the paying one) via, get this, TEXT MESSAGE(because the store changed owners, not because I was bad at my job. I should still have that job, but life’s not fair, is it?), and have been unable to find anything else which actually issues a paycheck.

And while I’ve had more free time, a general feeling of malaise and ennui have permeated my thoughts and emotions over recent weeks. This, coupled with largely questioning where I am, what I’m doing, and what I actually want out of life and obsessing over how I could possibly achieve it when I seem to be unable to find employment anywhere but McDonalds, despite working myself into the ground all through college and being heavily qualified, have sucked any and all creativity out of me for the past few weeks.

But I’ve had a bit of a turn-around lately – a formulation of a plan, and actual options to start putting a real life together. I feel reenergized – lighter, happier – upon waking up in the morning, my first thought is now “maybe today’s the day”, rather than “fuck this shit – what’s the point, anyway?”.

So I apologize for neglecting you, our dear readers who validate my ridiculous opinions and references to Vh1 reality shows, porn, and defecation. From here on out, I will do my best to bring you the very best in sports journalism(insert air-quotes at your own discretion), and the occasional photo of something that has nothing, and I mean nothing, to do with hockey or the Rangers, except in my own twisted mind. So I’m back, bitches.

Oh, and Eric would like credit for getting me back here. I’ll let him tell you about that with this lovely bit of a text message he sent me earlier: “if i don’t get mentioned as bugging the hell out of you daily for not writing i’ll slap you. hard. in the boob.” Thanks, Eric!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Did you know that Sean Avery played for Dallas last season? And that they apparently didn’t get along too well? Yeah. About that.

The Stars came to MSG a few nights ago, and Aves took a shit all over their souls by jamming a goal and three assists up their collective asses while the Garden chanted his name every ten minutes. It was awesome. You know what else was awesome? This:

While he was busy being the Sean we all know and love(an unapologetic jackass), and his teammates had nothing but praise for him and the way he played, and the other players interviewed managed the questions about him very well- meaning, they were adults about it and didn’t feed into the feud that Stan Fischler was trying to create and they didn’t say anything to rub Dallas’ faces into the games outcome.

In the Dallas locker-room, they went with a different approach:

In case you were wondering, yes, I was waiting for an opportunity to use that clip. Get over it.
In recent memory we’ve also wiped the floor with the Boston Bruins, and dug ourselves out of a horrendous rut that was caused by a serious lack of offense and overall shittyness- both of which seem to be correcting themselves. We shall see.
So, ladies and gents, I’m back- and the Rangers are back on track. Let’s see where this goes, shall we?

Morning Musings – USA Hockey Just Kicked Your Ass, Prucha Scores Again

Eric — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 15:37:36 +0000

Derek Stepan #21 and his USA teammates celebrate with the Championship Trophy following their gold medal win over Canada at the 2010 IIHF World U20 Championship. (Photo by Matthew Manor/HHOF-IIHF Images)

Team USA beat Canada last night at the World Junior Championships. They held a two goal lead with just under three minutes remaining in the game. One minute and 14 seconds later, the game is tied. As a Rangers fan, I feel like I’m watching a replay of Monday night’s game. USA ended up scoring in OT to win the game.

A post game locker room celebration chant was captured on video and uploaded to YouTube this morning. Have a look:

Those guys must be so incredibly pumped right now. The funny thing is all the negativity coming from Canadians. I mean honestly, If Canada had won, no one would be screaming obscenities towards Canada on Twitter.

I wouldn’t be surprised if TSN made a big deal out of them cursing. I mean, look what happened to Avery after he said, “sloppy seconds.” That’s not even a curse! These boys said the F word AND the A word!

How long before they have to apologize to Canada and go to anger management classes?

In NHL/former Rangers/WHY DID WE TRADE HIM?!?! news, Petr Prucha scored his ninth goal of the season last night against the Oilers. Suck it, Tom Renney:

The Rangers Are Spoiled

Eric — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:13:46 +0000

Back on Saturday, Rick Carpiniello posted a quote from John Tortorella talking about how he felt the organization treated the players too well.

He was also asked about how convenient the organization makes it on the team.

“Sometimes too good,” he said. “That’s part of the problem. Sometimes too good. That’s something in the short time I’ve been here … I think we take too good care of them sometimes. I’ll leave it at that.

“We’re changing our travel into the Island and Jersey, where it’s not going to be 10 freakin’ limos flying in from all over the place and coming in for a morning skate. We’re leaving the night before the game, on a bus, and going as a team to New Jersey and to the Island from now on. There are so many different things that come into play with people spread out all over the city and Westchester County, that I’m just beginning to understand and trying to get a better handle on it to be more team-conducive in the travel that we have here.”

You know what? As BleedTrueBlue said on the Hockey Rodent messageboard, “If this team needs a 30-minute bus ride together to build team unity, this team is hopeless.”

I mean, think about it. Some players live in Westchester, others live in Manhattan. Taking separate cars to the training facility and to local road games isn’t hurting team unity or spoiling the players. It’s solving a logistics nightmare! Has Tortorella even seen traffic in the Metro New York area lately? It’s a freaking mess.

Although, if Torts is dead set on keeping these guys together and building up team unity, I think I’ve solved the problem of how to get from the training facility to games in Newark or Uniondale as a group.

And if they get stuck in traffic while on the bus, they could always call in a helicopter to pick them up.

Then again, they could just opt for a catbus and it would just walk on top of the other cars.

World Junior Championships Coverage

Eric — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 05:37:28 +0000

This year at the World Junior Championships there are three Rangers prospects on the team USA roster. They are team captain Derek Stepan, Chris Kreider, and Ryan Bourque.

Team USA captain Derek Stepan (#21) skates with the puck at the 2010 IIHF World U20 Championship. (Photo by Jeff Vinnick/HHOF-IIHF Images)

Derek Stepan was drafted #51 overall in 2008 and currently plays for the University of Wisconsin. Chris Kreider was the Rangers first round draft pick in the most recent draft, selected #19 overall. He currently is a freshman at Boston College. Ryan Bourque (son of Ray Bourque) was selected 80th overall in this year’s draft and currently plays for the Quebec Remparts.

Throughout the tournament, Jess Rubenstein over at The Prospect Park will be following the prospects reporting on how they’re performing. He’s already blogged the first two games and given his review of the first game against Slovakia.

USA vs. Slovakia:
Period 1
Period 2
Period 3
Day 1 Review

USA vs. Switzerland:
Period 1
Period 2
Period 3